So beat me with a wet noodle!!

Lets seee, hmmmm, ah-hem...
I am still quitting
I am still ok with quitting

Today as I cleaned out the vehicle......I do that when I have to go on base.To drop Queen Margaret (other wise known as Moo, and Maggie, she's 5) off to My most amazing friend Crystal, who so graciously agreed to watch her Royal hind ass for me while I had to endour the torment of a hysteroscopy today.

Back to cleaning out vehicle....... Papers, Capri sun containers, empty smokes boxes, customs forms, receipts, toys (kid toys).......I happen upon a box of Nasty White Sticks.......Ohhhh, there were four in there, my mouth watered, my eyes lit up like a nuclear blast.....WOO HOO!!!

I threw them into the plastic bag with all the other papers and junk....
Took the bag to the garage.

Yeah, good girl up to this point.., right........
Bam, My ass caved! Went right to that bag and pulled out those smokes, ran to the back bathroom closed the door, opened that window and sucked down a marb med 100 in under 2 min.......I felt Great, the gentle flow of the smoke into my lungs, the instant release of dopamine to the brain ahhhhhhh.. comforting, like a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup on chilly night....

Then the overwhelming sense of guilt set in...
Yes! I fucked up, I admit it, I was a bad, naughty girl... wheres the whip when you need it?
It was one, the other 3 are in my medicine cabinet......
Talk about not wanting to let go!

Now that I have confessed my sin of the day, I still don't feel any better. I can sit here and beat myself up all I want but that won't change a thing....
Tomorrow is another day! FRIDAY!!
I am only human (thats not actually accurate, I am half alien, from my father's side.)


So yes I smoked today
Yes I am still Quitting
I am sooo NOT ok with quitting........